Wednesday Wisdom

Today I have been thinking about Wednesday Wisdom’s the trend to post an inspirational or thought provoking saying, statement or quote on our social media to remind us of what we have or to help others when they may be feeling low.

There are many that I feel translate well in to a ‘working’ sense.

In a previous blog I have spoken about the power to change, the power to do and the power to believe.

Those three things are so easy to say and yet they are so hard to do.  Why? Because they all have an element of risk attached to them.

The Power to change – but what if I change and it doesn’t work?

The Power to do- but what if it isn’t as easy as it seems. What if I fail?

The Power to believe – Will people judge me?

I am a firm believer in that everything happens for a reason, and if it isn’t right yet you aren’t at the end of that particular journey.

Some, say that they are silly and that ultimately, we control what happens and we control where the end is.

It would be easy to say OK, I am wrong. But I don’t, I stand by these two beliefs as they have seen me through so incredibly challenging times and I can think of one area right now where the second keeps me going, keeps me trying, keeps me believing that we are not yet at the end but at some point, we will be and everything will be as it should.

Now, don’t get me wrong I don’t think we can achieve world peace with these beliefs alone, but I do feel that they give me more compassion, more patience and make me look at the situation more clearly without letting my emotions take over all the time.

I saw this today when scrolling through Wednesday Wisdoms…

‘What’s Stopping You?’

Is it your fear of change? Fear of failure? Or fear judgement?

Take a depth breath, believe that everything happens for a reason, and remember it may take a while but once it’s right you will be at the end of that journey.

x

Perspective

Whenever I use the word perspective I can’t help but think of Ross and Rachel in friends when they get back together (briefly) after the whole ‘We were on a break’ debacle.

I think perspective is something we could all benefit more from. What I mean by this, is having the ability to stop, look at the bigger picture and really think and consider the situation properly.

We live in a time poor society and spend our days rushing around trying to cram everything in, I don’t know about you but quite often I seem to blink and it is Friday AGAIN and I wonder how on earth it is here again already and wonder what did I achieve this week.

Or, we wish Monday – Thursday away, praying for the weekend. To get out of the office and spend quality time with friends and family – But do we ever manage it?

This is where I believe we ALL need to improve and get some perspective on our lives, goals and how we spend our time generally.

Over the last few weeks I have been lucky enough to speak with and spend time with some very successful business owners and the overwhelming feeling I was left with is that they really understand the power of stopping, thinking and assessing.

One in particular stands out to me…. They had worked for years in the same career and they loved it.  But after a fundamental change in their family life, they knew something had to change.

They didn’t rush in to a new venture, they didn’t just bury their head in the sand and hope that the niggling feeling that they needed to change would go away.

They invested time and effort in to understanding what they and their family wanted.  Where did they want to be in 1 year, 2 years and as far ahead as 10 years?

They asked themselves some hard questions – what would you do if you had 6-12 months to live?

But also, some fun questions like if you won £3million on the lottery what would you do?

When I asked why? The response was simple.  To get perspective and to understand what was really important to us individually and as a family so we could plan to achieve our goals.

So, take some time.  Be honest with yourself and your partner, family and gain perspective on your life so you can take control and achieve your dreams.

I have lived for so many years running around like a headless chicken and at 33 it is time to stop.

x

Inspiration

As I was writing confidence, I began to think about what it is like when you feel truly inspired.

There have been many times throughout my life when I have felt truly inspired – my Head Master at Primary School, inspired us all and continued to inspire children every day for the next 16 years.

My Dad, who despite some really tough times he taught me and my brother how to be good people and most importantly to believe in ourselves.

My Mother in Law, who every single day gives selflessly to everyone around her and is so filled with compassion it is humbling to see.

But, if I am 100% honest I have never used this inspiration as much as I could have.  I have said to myself so many times, I am going to be better, try harder, do more and like most of us I have maintained it for a couple of days but never really made that change to the best of my ability – A bit like when I say ‘right, from tomorrow I am back on the diet’ and a few dates later I have once again fallen of the wagon.

I am lucky enough to be a mum to my gorgeous little one IC and I want him to grow being inspired everyday by me, with what I do for work, my outlook on life but most importantly on how I help him to grow and learn.

So, there it is, throughout all of the inspiration I have been lucky enough to have throughout my life, a little 1 year old, who just wants to absorb everything around him is the inspiration I need to be a better person, to be more thoughtful and ultimately teach him to be kind, compassionate and loving as he grows up.

When were you last inspired to be better or to make a change? Not sure?  Why don’t you have a look around you?

The Inspiration could be lurking in the place you expect to find it.

X

Confidence

Wow – I have been terrible at blogging over the last few weeks, and the main reason is because I have been feeling overwhelmed.

I have, suffered a couple of setbacks that have seriously dented my confidence – am I cut out to be an entrepreneur, am I good enough to do this?

Yesterday I attended a seminar, I was honest and said I was there to speak to local business owners and see what opportunities there were for me to work with them and help them improve their marketing and grow their businesses.

I wasn’t sure how it would go.

I walked out 3 hours later and not only had I made 3 really good connections but the seminar itself had taught me so much.

The presenter was so passionate about what he did, his enthusiasm was infectious and he left us with a couple of quotes both courtesy of John Rohn (Look him up, he talks a lot of sense).

‘If you will change…. Everything will change for you’ and ‘If you want to have more… Then you must become more’.

And these really did resonate with me.  Change is something we all find difficult but often if we make the change as uncomfortable as it is, we can look back in a few weeks’ time and feel empowered by what we have achieved.

So how can I relate this to now?

It is really easy – I have to be the business. I have to remember that offering Marketing isn’t unique, but I am (yep quirks and all!).

People buy from people and that is what will make the difference to me.

But how do I become more?

I have thought about this almost constantly since the seminar and I think this can be interpreted in so many ways.

It could be an activity, an approach or even how many hours you work/play.

I have been amazed recently by my Aunt, who has taken on a challenge to walk 10,000 steps or 5 miles a day every day in June. Not only has she absolutely smashed the challenge and is walking closer to 10 miles a day but for her I believe this challenge has become about so much more.

I want that feeling, I haven’t yet decided on how I am going to become more.  But by 30^th June I will have implemented a new approach or activity to help me become more than I am today.

Confidence is a funny thing – In a true business sense mine has been shaken to the core, but by attending one seminar and talking to likeminded people and drawing inspiration from my family, I am feeling bolstered and ready.

If you are ever in a place where you lack confidence – be honest with yourself.

Do you need to make a change and what can you do to become more and I am certain that not only will your confidence return it will be sky high!

Brave?

I have deliberated for a while on whether to write this blog, but something that happened to us as a family back in August 2016 is the reason I made the ‘brave’ choice to start my own business and get the work life balance how it should be.

So, where do I begin?

From the outside looking in, I had everything in 2016.  A loving, caring and extremely handsome Hubby, a beautiful, smiley, happy baby boy. I was just starting the dream job, running two brands of a successful health and beauty business and a 3 bedroom 1950’s semi-detached home in suburbia – you know, life doesn’t get much better, does it?

Well it suddenly did – We were pregnant again!! Now, OK, it wasn’t ideal I was just starting a new job.  IC would only be 14 months old with the baby arrived.  But we would make it work and our family we felt was almost complete.  We giggled at the thought and excitedly, started researching double pushchairs and planning where everything would go.

Sadly, this joy was short lived and at 11 weeks, we sadly lost our beautiful baby. Even now, 8 months on from that day the sadness overwhelms me.  But as a family, we rallied together and kept normality for IC who was just at the most incredible stage and really starting to develop a little, very cheeky personality.

I threw myself into my job with a renewed focus. This was my chance to be a success. This is how I would be the best Mum I could be – by not being there?!

IC was thriving and enjoying every moment he spent with all of his family, but he was getting clingy.  If I was around, he didn’t want anyone. Surely, it was just a phase.

Well this phase continued for months, and by November the penny was slowly beginning to drop.

Working all the hour’s god sent wasn’t being the best Mum I could be, I had got my priorities all wrong and frankly, I wasn’t managing working and being a Mum as well as I could be.

On my daily commute, I started thinking ‘I would never get these moments with Isaac back & if, we only have Isaac would I be able to look back and say, ‘yes I did everything I could to nurture him and help him grow’’ and I realised that I was hiding behind my job and using it as an excuse to not address my emotions about our loss or the guilt for not seeing enough of IC.

So, I began to look at how I could get the balance right, how could I enjoy my baby boy – who was growing so much every day and still work and provide.

The rest they say is history.

So why did I call this blog ‘Brave’? Well I have on a few occasions recently been called brave for starting my own business. I don’t think I am.  I think the brave people are those who make the big decisions early.  Who sacrifice in some cases, their careers for their children.

I feel the balance is now how it should be and I am blessed to be able to see so much more of IC.

My advice, is to not hide behind an emotion or a loss, be honest with how you feel. Talk about it or write about it and ultimately be honest with yourself.

How Much?

I can’t quite believe that I am almost at the end of my 2^nd month of running a business!

The days have flown by and I feel pretty chuffed with how they have gone……. I have even been paid (PHEW!)

One of the hardest challenges I have faced so far is knowing my worth.

When I started, I had a clear figure in my mind and that was it.  I would charge that regardless of who I was quoting for, a completely new business, or work through ex colleagues etc.

But, within a couple of days I had already broken my one rule.  I was wobbling on what my time was worth and muttering to myself ‘well they only need this so…’ or ‘I don’t want to lose the work so I can just about afford to it for..’ Suddenly, I was shy, embarrassed to say how much it would cost (Not a side of myself I had seen before).   

Luckily, the husband isn’t quite so, mmm…. ‘Soft’ when it comes to matters of money and he said;

‘What do you think your time is worth?’ and ‘If you think you’re are only worth X you will only ever be paid that’.

These words have had me thinking and viewing every quote in a different way.

Whenever, I have been in a position of being offered a job I have never been shy of negotiating the salary or benefits so why would I be now? Am I somehow worth less now?

The answer is no. Then I started to think about this scenario in a personal sense. If we allow people to undermine, bully and hurt us – are they therefore devaluing us?

Am I worth less than them?

‘When you accept less than you’re worth, that’s what people are going to keep offering you’

Now I can’t put a figure on what my feelings are worth to everyone I know but I know one thing for sure.  I don’t want to wait until I am in my 40’s or 50’s to be comfortable in my own skin, knowing who I am and what I am worth.  I want it to start today at 30 something and enjoy life with my nearest and dearest who value my ability to drink copious amounts of wine, to cook a nice dinner, to offer a shoulder to cry on or my ear to listen as they unload their concerns.

So, every day, I will be reminding myself of a quality/ skill or trait of mine to take into the day ahead.

Today I choose my ability to drink wine – Who’s with me??

x

Flexible

I am no contortionist but I have always tried to be flexible in my working life, start early if needed, stay late if the current ‘urgent’ task required me to.

Over the last 17 years I have done this almost without blinking, that was until I had IC and then I began to ask for my employer to be flexible.  One was a rigid as a wooden ruler (I left) and one was more like a bendy shatterproof ruler and happy for me to work at home, leave early take IC to the doctors etc. and in return they got more from me.  More dedication, more commitment and ultimately more respect.

So here I am like so many trying to balance motherhood, a career and attempting to be a good wife (I fail here a little too often… Sorry Hubby!) and I have realised that being flexible in the hours I work to suit my family has a fantastic impact on my productivity.

My thoughts on this are why are so many of us still chained to our desks Monday – Friday 9-5 (or whatever your core 37.5 hours a week are)?

Why do employers insist that their staff sit in god awful traffic for an hour in the morning and an hour on the way home or battle with overcrowded public transport?

Are we all at our most productive at these times?  Or is it historical bull sh*t, that the majority are too scared to change?

For me I am at my best from 7-10 and 2-6 so that is how I balance my day. I take breaks, I enjoy a coffee or 5 and I have a lunch break.

So come on businesses, join the revolution give your staff more freedom to work when they are more productive and haven’t gained yet grey hairs thanks to the daily commute and in return, I can almost guarantee that you will have a happier, more dedicated and flexible team to help your business to grow.  

Happiness

‘Happiness starts with you. Not with your relationships, not with your job, not with your money, but with you.’

I read this a short time ago on Facebook and it really got me thinking about whether or not this is in fact true.

Can you be happy within yourself, if the substance in your daily routines isn’t how you want it to be? Or, is this statement trying to say, that by truly understanding what makes you happy you will ultimately, only fill your life with other things that make you happy?

The Hubby and I have had a saying since we got together in 2011 that ‘it is only a job’ therefore, if it isn’t right, is detrimental to your health, sanity or our relationship then we have the freedom to change it with the full support from each other. We have both, used this and I would highly recommend this philosophy to everyone.  Yes, we have to have money to pay the bills, but that (in my opinion) should NEVER mean at the sacrifice of everything else you hold dear.

Does this mean, that our belief that a job can have a massive impact on our happiness is misplaced? I don’t think so.

For me, happiness is about confidence, support and a desire to succeed/ achieve/ enjoy/ feel fulfilled.

When I was notified of my impending redundancy, I took a long hard look at my life, on the surface I had it all, the dream job, the beautiful home, the loving hubby and a gorgeous son –  I was happy, but I wasn’t… I was more stressed than I had ever been before, I was continually tired and not just Mummy tired. Brain not functioning, lack of motivation to do anything tired and I knew something had to change.

So, yes, happiness does come from within, BUT to be truly happy, you need to the confidence to delve in to your inner psyche and assess.

You may be surprised with what you find out.

That Friday Feeling

Where do the week’s go?  Time just seems to fly by these days.  It is Friday again and to top it off ANOTHER bank holiday!!

Now I am going to sound a little smug now and I am sorry (I’m not really) but I have the ‘Friday Feeling’ every single day…

I no longer wake with a surge of adrenalin that I may be late or an instant pang of anxiety about what may lay ahead, or that I just might not hit the unrealistic deadline I have once again been set.

So, what is the Friday Feeling really about?

Is it the thought that you just have to get through the next 8 hours and then you have some freedom? Or, is it the ability to just crack on and then walk away at 5pm and not worry?

Up until recently, I thought it was the 2 days of freedom from the job, but I was never actually free. The emails were still checked throughout the day, Social Media platforms where always being updated and monitored – So I was never ACTUALLY free.

But now, every day – I focus, I work hard and I manage, set and achieve my to-do list on a daily basis and at 5pm I stop, and I mean STOP.  I don’t anxiously check my inbox to see what my boss might want now, or what new crisis there is to manage.

In the digital, smartphone world this seems impossible to most – but I highly recommend it.  Turn off the email notifications, get an application to schedule your Social Media if that is part of your job. Leave the laptop in the office and SWITCH OFF!

Not only will your mind thank you for it but your family and friends will too! So, go on (I dare you) at 5pm tonight, do it, leave work behind properly until Tuesday!

x

Focus

In my employment over the last 5 years or so I have always had the flexibility to work from home when needed and I have always found myself to be more productive, I would be sat working away and before I knew it, it was 5pm and the end of the day with a to-do list that looked far less like war and peace, and a renewed motivation.

And, here I am now working full time at home, in my little corner of the house, Radio 2 playing and churning out the work, for me this kind of working suits me, yet, I am asked quite often how I manage to focus, and questions such as ‘don’t you get distracted and just end up doing housework?’

Now, I can completely understand how and why people get distracted and wave goodbye to half of their working day, so I thought as part of this blog series about my journey I would share some of my hints and tips for being productive when working from your own home.

It’s all in the prep – People who know me, understand how much I like a routine and a certain predictability to my day but I believe a routine to the start of your day is important to make sure your focus is on the job at hand and not at the ever-building pile of washing.  First thing, I get up, get IC ready for his day, make the coffee and wave the boys off. I then get myself ready – I am unable to be motivated in my PJ’s – the lure of the sofa and Netflix becomes all consuming! I then do 15 minutes of jobs, load the dishwasher, put a wash on or (weather permitting) put the washing on the line. I make a coffee (I know 2 cups already) and sit down to start my day.

So, before you embark on a day or a life of home working set yourself a routine that gets you ready for the day ahead.  With no commute, there is no opportunity to psych yourself up. My mum, also works from home regularly and she swears by an early morning walk and yoga before she starts her day.  Find what works for you and it will give you the focus and energy you need for the day ahead.

Be disciplined – keep to your normal working day, if you work 9-5 with an hour lunch do it at home. If you only have 2 tea breaks in the office do it home.  These little activities will help your mind to focus and remember that you are at work even though the environment may be different.

Avoid Distractions – There are times when distractions are almost impossible to avoid. Friday is the day for me when working at home is, in all honesty almost impossible – the Hubby and IC are at home and my gorgeous little boy does not understand that climbing up and randomly pressing my laptop keys isn’t helpful. I am lucky that I have another workspace out of sight of IC that I can use however, my favourite choice is to head off to the local coffee shop, grab a large Latte (I know, I know, too much caffeine) use the WiFi and crack on with what I need to do.

Create a Defined Workspace – Many people work from the kitchen or dining table or even on the sofa when at home.  Try and avoid this if you can.  If your employer offers the flexibility speak to them about having a screen at home so your set up is the same and you don’t end up stooped over your laptop. Have a workspace that has everything you need for your day on it or even mirrors your workspace at your office so that there are signs there to signal that it is work time.

Be Honest – Home or remote working isn’t for everyone and I know that sadly, in some industries it still has a stigma attached to it. But if it doesn’t work for you currently but you need that flexibility in your role, try setting a routine so that you feel set for the day when you start, or making sure your day has a task with a deadline to help you gain that focus.

I would love to hear your thoughts on these hints and tips or even some of your own – share them on my Facebook page or tag me in your pictures on Instagram!